A business friend of my husband recently invited us out to dinner. I had never met this man before, yet my husband had shared with me that he had lost his wife a few years back, and was having trouble coping with his singleness. He missed his wife dearly.
Since we weren’t sure where he stood with his faith, I was praying that somehow during the course of the dinner there would be an opportunity to find out what he believed.
A door opened a crack for a few minutes when my husband got up to use the restroom.
I told this man how sorry I was to hear of his wife’s passing, and said I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be – especially after having been married for as long as they had been.
He seemed appreciative of my words, but as he spoke I saw his eyes sadden with grief and loneliness. He said it’d been very hard – especially since most of the people they had hung out with are couples. He basically said he felt like the odd-man-out a lot of times.
The more he spoke, the more I sensed he was not a believer in Jesus. But no more opportunities came as when my husband returned the conversation turned back to business.
This dinner out has also made me think more about believing friends who have lost their spouses – or those who have gone through a divorce. Yes they trust the Lord and know He loves them, yet it still hurts greatly; often leaving a deep void in their lives that they have a hard time getting through. It’s difficult to be around friends they used to hang out with as couples, so many tend to turn away and alienate themselves. The emotions just run too deep.
A lot of times they feel like outcasts. And sometimes their feelings of loneliness are so intense that they jump into another relationship much sooner than they should. They just want to fit in again.
Years ago a single divorced friend of mine was really struggling. She wanted male companionship so badly that she kept hooking up with smooth-talking guys that any outsider could see was not a good fit.
I made a comment to her one day that she needed to remember that the Lord was actually her real husband (Isaiah 54:5, Revelation 19:7-8). She knew that, but stated it wasn’t the same – she couldn’t physically put her arms around Him or see Him.
True words. I personally can’t imagine coming home and no longer having my husband there. Yes, losing our children was harder than hard, but at least Gary and I had each other to hold onto and cry with. But when you come home to an empty quiet house that you’d shared with your loving spouse for years, the silence must be deafening.
We can’t understand God’s timing as to why and when He decides certain people will breathe their last breath, yet as I mentioned in my Healing Moment video “God’s Perfect Timing”, our Father has everything worked out precisely to His specifications. He is the One who holds everything together (Colossians 1:17), and His reasoning is beyond our comprehension.
In closing, for those of you who find yourself single – for whatever the reason – please know that my heart goes out to you. I once heard a sermon which said that being single is an exceptionally high calling as it goes against our normal culture. Yes, it does.
For those of you who know Jesus as your Lord, my prayer is that you will be able to feel His arms enfolding and comforting you on your sad days.
And for those of you such as my husband’s friend, I pray that you will hear the still, small voice of Father God as He calls out to you in love (Revelation 3:20). You don’t have to go through life all alone – ever.