Hahahahahaha – sometimes the Lord just cracks me up! I can almost see Him up there shaking His head lovingly at me saying something like, Not yet, Linda, not yet; but don’t worry – just trust Me and watch how I’m going to work this out!
But … but … but … Well, let’s face it, you can’t argue with God. (Well, you can, but it’s not going to do any good.)
I remember one time something happened involving our son Jeffrey buying a present for his dad. See if you can relate:
Jeffrey was 10 years-old, and as Gary’s birthday was coming up, I asked him where he’d like to go and buy his dad a birthday present. His reply? Barnes & Noble.
This might not seem strange to most of you, but I had never taken Jeffrey there before, and I didn’t even know if Jeffrey knew what kind of a store it was!
But then I thought, Well, why not?
We got to the store, and I let Jeffrey wheel away on his own, trying to not steer him in any specific direction. Where would he end up?
The first place he stopped was in the calendar section, but unfortunately he chose a calendar filled with naked lady statues (no, not like that – they were historical statues from places like ancient Rome, etc.).
I was kind of in a quandary, so I told him that those calendars “probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”
He kind of looked around aimlessly for a few minutes after that, so I finally said, Hey, do you want me to show you the Christian book section? Daddy might like something from there.
Jeffrey thought that was a good idea, so once we got to the section I again stood back to see what he would do.
After looking for a few minutes, Jeffrey all of a sudden pointed out the book called “Wild at Heart” written by John Eldredge. I glanced at the back cover, and thought it sounded awesome. It was geared towards men and their struggles in life, and how to overcome and trust God.
Growing up, Gary did not have a good relationship with his dad, who was abusive. His parents ended up getting divorced when he was a teenager. Partially because of that, it had always been hard for him to really trust God as his Heavenly Father. This intensified especially after losing our son Matthew (The Purity Of A Child’s Heart). Yes, Gary loved God wholeheartedly, but that whole “trust” thing was just hard for him sometimes.
Anyway, back to Jeffrey’s book present to his daddy, when Gary opened it he was very appreciative, but then ended up sticking the book on the bookshelf. I found myself wondering why the Lord would have directed Jeffrey to the book (which I totally believed), and then not have Gary read it!
Fast forward to about 8 months later.
Gary had been continuing to struggle with trusting God as he just felt he’d been let down too many times (besides losing our boys he was also struggling with the disabilities little Jeffrey was dealing with – Jeffrey’s Getting Stronger – Isn’t He? – of course so was I!).
I had been praying and praying for Gary, and had asked a few good friends to also pray.
One friend I had asked was a gal who had also lost a 2 year-old son years before – in almost identical circumstances. She definitely could relate to what we had gone through!
So one day she emails me and asks, Has Gary ever read the book, “Wild at Heart?”
Whoa – I was floored! She told me that even though it was geared mostly towards men, she had read it herself, and it had really helped her during those moments when she would start to wonder “why” everything had happened as it had…
When I relayed this conversation to Gary, he looked at me with – yes – disbelief, but he stated maybe he’d go ahead and read the book. And he did! Let me tell you something: It really did help Gary as he read about broken dreams, and how God redeems those dreams in ways we probably wouldn’t even think of. He even started telling friends at church about it!
You know, God does not waste anything we go through, and sometimes He’ll lead people to do something at a particular time which just doesn’t make sense at the moment. But BE PATIENT! Remember, God alone is all-seeing and all-knowing, and His plan will all make sense, when He deems it’s the right time (Acts 1:7).
So go ahead, follow those little nudges even when they might not make sense at the moment; and then be patient and watch what He will do!