Why Are You Hurting Me, God?

Come on, admit it – you’ve said it, haven’t you?  I have unfortunately…

Why, God, why?  Why are you being so mean to me?  Haven’t I suffered enough already?

If not you, perhaps it’s one of your friends who is so upset with God that he/she has turned their back on Him, saying, “Why bother trying to do what the Bible says.  All God does is cause me more and more pain.  I’m sick of it.  Life was a lot better before I became a Christian.”

Have you, yourself, turned away from God because you’ve had to endure so much hurt?  Because you feel like He’s been cruelly picking on you?

Please hang on!  Because nothing you have gone through was without a reason.  God has a purpose and a plan even when you can’t see it; and He loves you more than you imagine even when you don’t feel it.

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The past few months I’ve been doing an intense study on the book of Job.  I have to admit I never understood why God allowed Job – a man who He Himself describes as “the finest man in all the earth … blameless—a man of complete integrity” (Job 1:82:3) had to go through so much pain; pain beyond what most of us will ever have to suffer.  It just didn’t make sense.

1 Samuel 1But to be perfectly honest, a lot of people my husband and I know have wondered the same thing about us.  Why have we had to endure losing 2 children within a 5-month period, and then have our remaining son struggle as he does with quadriplegic cerebral palsy?  My sister years ago admitted to me that she confronted God with, “Why them, Lord, why always them?”

While I certainly don’t have all the answers to the “why” of circumstances that happen which appear to be out of our control, I do know one reason for me personally was that I was arrogant, headstrong, and thought I always knew best.  Plus – and perhaps even more importantly – I was pretending to be a Christian.  I was living a lie.

And do you know that God knows exactly what needs to be done to get our attention?  Quite honestly I don’t know if I would have ever surrendered to His saving grace if we hadn’t lost our 2 sons.

Now believe me, I certainly wasn’t like God-fearing Job.  Being a person of “integrity” was not me.  So it just never made any sense to me why God would allow Job to go through all he had to go through – things so much worse than what we had to suffer.

But through this Bible study the pieces suddenly started coming all together, for I learned that that Job was blinded with pridefulness…

That’s not saying that Job didn’t really love God.  He did!  Even after he’d lost all his children, his possessions, and was covered from head-to-toe with painful sores, he still did not say anything bad about Him.  He states in Job 1:21:  “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave.  The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away.  Praise the name of the LORD!”

And in Job 2:10:  “Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”

But just like the rest of us, the longer he had to suffer, the more his defenses broke down.  And when our defenses are shattered, we become more susceptible to saying and doing just what we should not be saying and doing.

That’s what happened to Job.  He started to unravel.

It began when his so-called friends came to visit, and instead of encouraging Job, started pounding at him about why they believed he was having to suffer.  Job begins to fray at the edges.

While you really need to read the whole book of Job to fully understand the specifics, let me just say that the more Job kept defending himself to his friends, the more he began to exalt himself, as well.  Yes he had been doing so many of the right things, but the more you read his words, the more you see he appeared to be basing his faith on God being pleased with the good works he had been performing – instead of grace.

So one of the reasons God allowed the intense pain and suffering in his life was to get Job to the point where he could actually hear His voice, and know intimately just who he said he believed in.  And, when you get to Job 38-41, you read how finally God Himself speaks to beloved Job, and points out just how ignorant he was of just Who He is.

But here’s what I love.  Because even though Job has gone through the worst of the worst, when he opens his ears to really hear the voice of God, he doesn’t argue, he repents (Job 42)!  He realizes his pridefulness, and comes before his Father asking for forgiveness.

And, of course, our loving God forgives him immediately, and blesses him with even more than he had in the beginning.

Heady stuff, isn’t it?

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OK, I can imagine some of you tuning out by now.  “What does this have to do with me?  What am I supposed to be learning?  Are you saying that when bad things happen it is always because of sin?”

Mark 14_36NO!  Only God Himself knows all the reasons for what you’re having to go through.

For my husband and I, when we lost our children, I knew personally one of the reasons God allowed it was because of sin in my life; but that didn’t mean it was the whole reason.  And nothing hurt us more than having well-meaning people approach us with the “it must be because you have sin in your life” card.  When someone is hurting, you need to be encouraging them instead of bruising them even more.  We are not God, so sitting and speculating causes more harm than good.

Our Father has a mission for all of His children, and He uniquely places us just where we need to be.  He has us go through what we need to go through – in order to fulfill His purpose in this life on earth.

But going back to Job’s friends, they themselves also had lessons to learn; and they learned them through the sufferings of Job.  God rebukes them strongly in Job 42:7-9.  They were puffing themselves up with self-proclaimed knowledge about why Job had to suffer, when instead they should have been encouraging him, lifting him up in prayer.

People are always watching us as Christians, and the way we handle the pains and trials we go through can strengthen others in their walks with Jesus, and can even bring unbelievers close to the Father.  But we need to be doing our best to remain with eyes lifted in faith and trust through our difficulties, even when we don’t understand why the hurts are happening.

And when we finally come out on the other end of our trial?  Then we discover our faith and intimacy with our Father has grown even deeper than ever before, as God rejuvenates us here on this earth, and also when we enter eternity.  If we are serious about our relationship with God, and strive to understand His full council, He becomes our everything, such as the psalmist states in Psalm 119:105-112:

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.  I’ve promised it once, and I’ll promise it again:  I will obey your righteous regulations.  I have suffered much, O LORD; restore my life again as you promised.  LORD, accept my offering of praise, and teach me your regulations.  My life constantly hangs in the balance, but I will not stop obeying your instructions.  The wicked have set their traps for me, but I will not turn from your commandments.  Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart’s delight.  I am determined to keep your decrees to the very end.  

Stand firm my friends.  Lean on God the Father who is our shield and our strength.  Nothing – and no one – can take His place.  There’s a big difference as to whether you simply have religion, or if you have a relationship with Jesus.  I chose a personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Savior, and I pray you will too.

 

 


24 thoughts on “Why Are You Hurting Me, God?

  1. Its predictable, if understandable that you quote the book of Job. Its about all any Christian can do when confronted with theodicy. But I think at some point, you just have to walk away rather than drive yourself insane. I just realised that if there was a God up there, it didnt concern itself with any aspect of my life whatsoever. Certainly not in the manner of a ‘loving father’. In the past few years, my chronic pain and ill health have reached unprecedented levels: everything the doctors did was always met with further problems later on, and their attempts to stem the advance of osteoporosis only seemed to make it worse. I also lost a very good friend this year. A man who suffered terribly in his life. Pain, suffering and illness seemed to stalk him. He had a strong belief in God, but his death broke mine, and then coronavirus stamped all over the pieces. But this is NOT about my problems. I am about to be very blunt and I apologise. But if you must insist in believing in this f…..g God of yours then you have a LOT of explaining to do. Your God simply MUST shoulder some of the burden of bringing about a world of such misery, pain and suffering. (And then trying to resolve it TWICE!, with yet MORE pain and suffering). Adam and Eve cannot take all the blame, in the same way that Frankenstein’s Monster cannot take all the blame for what it did. And then, of course, you have the reality of the situation, which is that this world looks and behaves exactly in the way it would if it was part of a random universe.

    I used to believe in this God too. But now I realise I have to grow up, accept the world as it is, and leave this fiction behind.

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    1. This is all BS! A bunch of excuses that make no sense. Stop bogusly trying to explain when you don’t have the answers! Job did not suffer his entire life! I have! Tremendous abuse and losses and God never eases up, and I was a devout Christian, until after decades of living I finally gave up! My life has been far worse than Jobs! And speaking of Job, God wipes out his entire family, and then replaces them with a new family. One cannot ever replace previous loved ones with new ones callously, as though the previous family was nothing!, and in Jobs case was expected to to shake off his love for his first family!!! God was cold hearted to do that!

      Screw all this garbage! You don’t have any answers! Stop pretending you do, and making excuses for a supposedly loving God!!!! Yeah, God is so loving… NOT! He is also a jealous, bitter angry murdering God in the Old Testament! Even Jesus on the cross asked God why He had forsaken Him!!! Jesus was pure, holy and divine… better than all of us, and yet asked God that while hanging on the cross!

      I loved God all my life… not anymore!

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      1. I truly am sorry for all your pain and anger, yet I stand fully behind what I have written. Praying for you: Lord Jesus, You alone know the emotions that have been expressed here; and You alone are able to heal. I ask in Your great Name that You would lay Your healing hands on this beloved child of Yours, and that You would bring Your soothing balm upon them to heal. Bind the enemy who is trying to turn all thoughts into bitterness and hate. You are the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, and even though You did question God while you hung on the cross, You knew it was the only way for us to truly be free – and because of that You did it for us, and did it willingly. Please touch this loved one’s heart open their eyes to Your truth. In the powerful name of Jesus I pray – Amen.

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    2. The reality of the situation is this. God is good and everything he does is in His goodness. We don’t deserve anything not even His grace or mercy yet He gave us the supreme gift of love and free will. It is in love and free will that God uses man to make the world a better place. He’s not gonna force you to do anything. But the reality of hardship, trials and tribulations is for us to build a relationship with God. Even human relationships require the presence of adversity to be strong. And I tell you this without being broken, you can never see the need of God.
      Now you may ask why do we need this relationship with God,? Eternity. God is so jealous for us that He would do anything possible to make us spend the rest of our life in eternity with Him.
      All you have to do is shift your focus and focus on why God does things…It’s for Eternity. God is so good that even when trials happen He is still good. It’s a bit confusing but just try a relationship with Him. At first the process is tough but then you start to understand the person of God. And all I remember is that God is good in every trial, tribulations, happiness and joy. I hope this helps you. He’s waiting to hear from you with all the questions you have. Just ask Him.

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  2. Oh Paul, my heart goes out to you in your chronic pain – I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, so I won’t even try. I am adding you to my prayer list, for I know only God my Father can truly heal your pain.

    We certainly don’t know why God allows people to suffer, and no, I’m definitely not blaming it on Adam and Eve. But this I do know: If your friend with COVID who died did indeed have a personal relationship with Jesus, he is rejoicing now as he’s in a place where he will never again experience pain, tears or sorrow (Rev. 21:4). And I know he would want you to join him there someday.

    But I also know that doesn’t help you in your hurt right now …

    Paul, please don’t turn from Jesus – instead call out to Him. Please read my post again and hear my personal heart. His love for you is higher than the heavens (Ps. 108:4). Having a belief in God is not enough; you must call on Jesus (Jn. 3:16).

    And let me end with a personal prayer for you right now: “Heavenly Father, You know Paul intimately and know exactly his thoughts, his hurts, his pain, and his anger. Oh Lord, I pray that through the mighty name of Jesus that You would reach out Your Shepherd’s crook and bring him into your fold. Hold Paul ever so close. Reach into his heart, Holy Spirit, and may he feel Your presence as never before. In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.”

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  3. God uses pain He deliberately inflicts on us to His glory. How am not supposed to be afraid of Him? That is not love. If God wants my attention, why can’t He speak to me plainly? I wouldn’t make my child suffer when he can’t figure out what I want, I’d tell him plainly. There is so much contradiction in the bible, and though God knows this, he is silent. Love is beginning to sound like a punishment.

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    1. Oh, Raquel – I’m so sorry for all the heartache and pain you’ve experienced. I can tell from your reply that you’ve been hurt, and I wish I could help you. I would love to hear your story. I’m going to email you and would love to get connected. The Bible is not full of contradictions; and our God is never silent. Please don’t be afraid of Him as His love for you is so full and complete. He designed you special in your mother’s womb (Ps. 139). Your every thought and intent of your heart is important to Him. Please look for an email coming from me in the next week or so.

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  4. Hello thegodofallcomfort Your journal regarding God’s reason for human suffering in our lives is inspiring and encouraging. This is what I need for my new life after recovering from the humiliation from fake toxic friend and financial mismanagement one year ago, something that should not happen in my new independent life in Canada. However my flawed personality also played part for my suffering and failure. I am walking on the dessert, however this motivate me to research the truth which if God has a noble and more constructive reason behind his allowance of good people to fail and suffer. I believe that the way God hurt His beloved children, including you and me, is different than how other people hurt us. He hurt us in the way of surgery. Our enemies, humans and demons, are his best scalpels to shape our lives into its best. Scalpel will not show its love and respect to us and we will end up getting hurt if keeping them in our hands too long. Neither we expect them to show mercy to us or help constructing us. But God can use them as well as the consequence of our sin to show His love and the greater grace and prosperity He is about to revealing to us.
    I am sorry for the loss of two of your children and the pain to taking care of the remaining one. It is not easy to bear the burden of the life you are living. I would like to pray with you for our future God is promising for us. You now have my email address and I would love to have a prayer online friend in my tomorrow.
    Blessings

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  5. I love God, but get very frustrated with Him. He seems to reward bad people and punish good people. I see amazing opportunities for Him to shine light on good and send warnings on evil, but He seems to do the opposite. I can’t remember what they call them, but I think they are called “dispensationalists” who feel that God has walked away from this world and I am starting to believe that. There is no explanation for rewarding evil and harming good people – as it does the OPPOSITE of what we are all trying to do – save our brothers and sisters. His inactions cause bad people to double down on unchecked evil and good people to lose faith. If one accepts his omnipotence, one must come to the conclusion that, since He cannot make mistakes, He must have walked away from us.

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    1. Yes, this is exactly what all the enemy wants us to believe – that our God has walked away from us. And, yes, it’s certainly hard to see “seeming” rewards going to bad people. But please remember – this world is all there is for them! We have heaven waiting for us – a place where there will be no more pain, sorrow or tears (Rev. 21:4). Us human beings are the ones who have made this world such a mess because of sin, not God. We’ve chosen to turn away from Him, take Him out of our schools, and even a lot of our churches! Just like the Israelites of old, God loves us, and wants us to come to Him. Please don’t give up, my friend. Hang on and pray. Our Father will come alongside you and help you every step of the way. Keep focused on the future, not on the here and now. Blessings…

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  6. God wont help good people he helps only bad people who destorys the society. He didn’t help me. he is causing me more and more problems to me. Someone say the god to help me please. im facing difficulty in life.

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    1. My friend, I’m so sorry for your hurt, and the pain you are currently experiencing. I agree this world often looks hopeless, but that is why it’s so important to keep our eyes on Jesus, and not on this world. Evil is all around us, and without the firm foundation that God gives us, we will fall. Do you believe in Jesus, the Son of God? He knows you, and wants to help you in what you are facing right now. Jesus Christ is the Son of the one and only God, He died a brutal death on the cross for you and for me, was buried, yet rose from the dead 3 days later! Why did He do this? Because He loves you, and wants you to know that He understands what pain and suffering feels like; and He wants us to be with him up in Heaven when we die – a place of “no more tears, pain or sorrow” (Rev. 21:4).

      We don’t understand God’s ways – because we aren’t God! His thoughts and His ways are totally beyond what we can think or imagine (Is. 55:8-9). We think evil is prevailing, but God sees all, and He will judge all those who have not surrendered to Him. I cringe to think of the ongoing pain and suffering they will endure (1 John 2:15-27). Let me pray for you now: “Father God, I pray for this friend who is experiencing such hurt and pain right now. I pray that You would reveal Yourself to him/her in a way that will be clearly understood. I pray that my new friend will call out to you in complete faith and trust, and he/she will admit they also are sinners and need the cleansing power of the Lord Jesus to save them. Show them Your glory, and give them hope and peace today, dear Lord. In Jesus’ Name I pray – Amen.

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  7. I’m hurting deeply. I married a man who was a complete fake Christian. He portrayed himself as a Christian, and I trusted him. Some of the people I have been hurt most by are Christians. After a long absence from church, I decided to go back, and decided to catch up on tithing. Well, a lady who knew what I gave,stood up, and pointedly said “This person is trying to manipulate God,let’s not be like this person ( obviously meaning me) I was shocked and taken aback by such pure harsh judgement of myself. I wasn’t trying to “manipulate God . ” I am deeply hurt by the way I was treated. Also,the pastor’s wife repeated something extremely personal that I had discussed with her in counseling. And this church ,though rife with wrong doctrines,pride, dissension and gossip and sexual sin,gets free rein to pass harsh judgement on me. I was merely trying to obey the pastor who had just preached on tithing. I’m left feeling heartbroken, and also, my abusive cheating husband,who basically left me for dead, went and found someone else. Them, when he was found out, and I left him, he repeatedly tries to kill me. I’m suffering deeply and now this “husband” who masquerades as a Christian has ruined me, sexual, physical, and mental abuse so severe I had a breakdown. Then I felt like I have nobody now. This man invaded my support system and turned my entire community against me,while looking like a saint,as he continues to prey on the vulnerable. Day after day,I have cried to God,to rid me of this man. He will not stop stalking me, put our kids into foster care so he could avoid paying child support, tried to kill me numerous times because he doesn’t want to pay alimony. This man desperately wants me dead. It’s literally only a matter of time. I must have failed God ,God must think I’m a terrible person to allow this to happen to me. And I have tried so hard to clean sin out of my life, and fail to be perfect. I’m in a pretty heartbroken space right now. Nobody realizes my husband is a monster. And I can’t help but feel like God’s punishing me,or maybe doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe because I smoke cigarettes. I feel like I have failed God, and my children. And justice is nowhere to be found.:-(.

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    1. Liz – I’ve been praying for you since I read your reply to my post. Please, you must call the police if your husband is threatening to kill you. And, unfortunately as you’re finding out, not all “churches” are safe havens. Tithing will not save you; and going to church will not save you. You need a personal relationship with Jesus. Do you have a Bible? If not there are good Bible apps, or you can go online and read it. Turn to the gospel of John (the 4th book of the Bible in the New Testament). Pray that God would show you the truth, and read it prayerfully. It will explain to you Who Jesus is, and how He is the only way to obtain salvation, peace and joy. And please try a different church. There are many good churches, but they must believe Jesus is the ONLY way to salvation, and there is no other way. If you would like to email me personally, please let me know. Let me end with a prayer for you: Dear Lord, You alone know the truth of the hurt that Liz is experiencing in her life. And You love her deeply, and want to help her through her pain. Please speak to her in a clear way that she can understand. Please send to her godly women who can come alongside her, teach her and be there for her. You died on the cross so that we can be free. May Liz call out to You, and know You are there. Please direct her in her circumstances, protect her, and show her a new life. In the precious and mighty name of Jesus I pray – Amen.

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    2. When I pray, God seems to do the exact opposite of what I pray for. MORE suffering. MORE pain. Almost as if I’m being punished for being alive, or he seems to enjoy my pain. God says to fear Him. And rightly so. I love God and in the end,he will inevitably win. But at the same time I want to stay off his radar. I’m now afraid to pray because I know it’ll backfire on me. Sometimes I wonder if he would be more pleased to see me hurting myself,then maybe he’ll leave me alone. If God wants me to fear him I’m definitely fearful.

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      1. Reading your comment this morning, I’m remembering the words of Jesus when He was about to go to the cross to pay a gruesome, painful death for our sins. The human side of Him was fearful. Luke 22:44 says “He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.” Yet He knew this was the ultimate plan of our great God, so He willingly endured that painful death for us, stating, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” (Luke 23:44). It’s tough when we feel our prayers are backfiring, and I agree, I’ve had my times of wanting to “stay off his radar.” After losing our 2 boys and then going through the years of raising our special needs son I many times found myself questioning God. Not so much “why is this happening to me?” But rather, why does our remaining son have to endure such daily pain and live his life every day struggling. However let’s keep our eyes on our ultimate home – the place of no more pain, tears or suffering (Rev. 21:4). What a great place that will be! Prayers for you this morning; I’m truly sorry for all your pain…

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  8. Hello,

    I am so tired of having Job thrown out everytime someone tries to talk about pain and suffering. Yes Job suffered. How long did Job suffer? Not his entire life. God makes some of us suffer for our entire lives. Now I admit that I have not suffered the same way Job did, but still suffer none the less. How long must we suffer for Jesus. Jesus suffered for what? about 6 hours, not his entire life. Yet we are to suffer endlessly for our entire life. My suffering is both physical and mental. I am disabled with a damaged neck, carple tunnel in both wrists, and strength deterioration in right arm. Plus Manic Depressive Bipolar Disorder, with anxiety issues, on the mental side. Every day is a struggle. I have never known anything but poverty in this so-called life. God has never shown compassion to me. No comfort, love, peace, contentment, hope, joy. These can not exist as long as God keeps torturing me with silence, absence, and unanswered prayers. God’s involvement in my life is none existent. I truly don’t understand how people can think that suffering draws us closer to God. Suffering pushes people away from God, especially when God is the source of their suffering. God’s silence and absence are torture, thus suffering caused by God. The way it keeps being touted is that suffering equals comfort. It does not.

    God bless you, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

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  9. Kenneth – I’m so sorry to hear of how difficult every day is for you. And, please know I never mean to cause any harm to people through my posts; instead my goal is to encourage them. While I cannot understand your pain, I do disagree with your statement that “suffering pushes people away from God, especially when God is the source of their suffering.” I disagree because I look at my life. All the suffering I’ve endured has brought me to the place where I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. I’ve felt God’s deep-seated healing when I thought I never would feel any joy again.
    I would like to pray for you today: Dear Lord, You alone know the deep-rooted pain that Kenneth goes through each day. And, You alone know all the causes for it. My prayer is that You would come alongside Kenneth, and that You would give him comfort in a way that he will know without a doubt that You are there, right alongside him. You alone are worthy of all praise and glory. In Jesus’ name I pray – Amen.

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  10. Hello again,

    It is good for you that you have experienced God in your life. I have not. Not unless you count misery as experiencing God. All I get from/of God is silence, absence, broken promises, heartbreak, and unanswered prayers, the torture. 42+ years of nothing from/of God has crushed my heart and soul. This nothingness from/of God leaves me depressed and hopeless. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to a God that is never here. Never does anything. God is pushing me deeper into the abyss, to the point of no return. The Bible teaches that God loves me but He never demonstrates that love. (in my life, not thousands of years ago) The Bible teaches lots of things about God that God doesn’t back up. God breaks His word. The Bible teaches that God will meet our needs. I need God to be interactive. God isn’t meeting my needs. Thanks

    God bless you, through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

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  11. Wow, so God killed your 2 children to teach you a lesson? Second question where do you get the idea Job was full of pride? God himself proclaimed Job as “ the finest man in all the earth … blameless—a man of complete integrity”
    And yet you say this “blameless man of complete integrity..the finest man in all the Earth was just blinded with prides!! What a ridiculous assertion. Don’t you think God would have mentioned the pride part out loud? Third so the only way God can get through to us, to show us He loves us is by murdering our children. So that by killing them we can finally see how much He loves us? That’s just nuts and if true He is not a God of love.

    One last thing I notice I have experienced the exact same thing as many of the other people. How can that be? How can we all be independently coming to the same conclusion? How can we all be independently experiencing the same things? Something is deeply wrong.

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    1. Yes, something is indeed wrong with our human thinking, Steven. Please remember the blog posts I write are “my” opinion. You certainly have the right to agree or disagree. The Lord is my Hope and my Salvation, and thankfully He knows my heart. You obviously have a lot of pain and confusion in your life, and I’m so sorry. All I can say is surrender to Jesus; for only He can give you the clarification you seek. Become involved in a good Bible-teaching church and get together with godly men who can help mentor you. Praying for you this morning…

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  12. Have been continuing to pray for you, Kenneth. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8). All I can say is God knows what’s best for us, not ourselves. He never breaks His word, we do when we think we know better than Him. I’m sorry you don’t agree with me; but that’s your prerogative. Really there’s nothing more I can say.

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