Getting ready to travel soon to visit our special needs son Jeffrey in Arizona. I’m really excited to see him – yet at the same time I can feel my heart often doing the flip-flop thing. Excitement, yet at the same time trepidation. Why? One reason is because I haven’t seen him since Christmas 2016. Not my choice, but his.
Our precious son who made such great strides in moving away from home to another state to attend college has fallen off the grid, but we’re not sure why because he won’t tell us. He ended up having to drop out of college after his junior year, and got kicked out of the great house he was staying at because of this unknown issue. He won’t talk to anyone about it (that we know of), but one thing we do know is that he’s fallen away from God and hasn’t been taking care of himself. He has cerebral palsy and needs consistent therapy, but we’ve been told he’s stopped all his therapies, and basically sits and does nothing but watch movies and be on the computer all day long.
Because of his weakened body he was not able to fly home to visit us this last Christmas – and as a matter of fact stated he didn’t want to see us anyway. My mommy-heart breaks, yet as I wrote about in my post What Am I Focusing On, I need to fix my eyes on all the great and wonderful things that God continues to do in my life each and every day (Philippians 4:8), and remember that He has His hands on our son, and that He loves him even more than we do.
As a matter of fact, when my husband and I decided to take our vacation in Arizona this year so we could see him, Jeffrey tried to dissuade us. But we had to do it – I had to see my boy to at least tell him how much I love him face-to-face. Even if he only wants to see us once.
Jeffrey had so much potential growing up. He was the first child with his type of disabilities to graduate from his high school with a regular diploma instead of a modified one. His teachers gathered around him and gave him so much support – knowing he was going to do great things with his life.
What happened? We don’t know.
Yet our great God knows – He knows exactly what happened.
In all the times that my husband and I pray for Jeffrey, we always feel the Lord reminding us: “Trust Me.” And so we must. Which is why I’ve entitled this post what I have, because Romans 8:28 tells us that “all” things work for the good of those that love Him. There are reasons beyond our comprehension why Jeffrey’s where he’s at right now, but somehow – in someway – God’s going to take care of it and work it out.
Jeffrey & Me, Christmas 2016
How about you? Do you have a wayward child or a loved one whose going through trials that you just don’t understand? Maybe you are yourself? Then be encouraged, because if you love Jesus, He says “Trust Me.”
Psalm 23 is a psalm I love dearly. Awhile back I wrote about that psalm in my journal: The Lord is my Shepherd. He leads me down the right path; He restores my soul. I shall not want! His comfort is always before me. Oh Lord, to remember that just as a good shepherd does let a stray sheep wander too far, so You’ll not let Jeffrey wander too far away.
And I know – because I have faith in my Jesus – that one of these days I’ll lift up my head and rejoice like King David did in Psalm 24:7-10. Nothing is too difficult for my Father. And even though His ways are different and often hidden from mine, I’m going to do my best to keep the Romans 8:28 mindset and remember that “all” things work for the good of those who love Him. And I love my God dearly.
I think it’s really true that a man/woman cannot live without worshiping some sort of god. The question is: Which god do they worship? If a person doesn’t worship the true God, he worships a false one – which probably is a reflection of his or her own self. You decide what is truth and what is sin, and what standard of living is correct. You might even bow down in front of a statue or picture and pray to it.
I know one of them was my husband who told me after we’d been together for a couple years that he was a born-again Christian who needed to get back right with God. I’d hear him in our bedroom with the door closed praying and reading his Bible. I used to get mad at him for destroying what I perceived was my comfortable perfect little life.
I’ve been thinking about stuff that I shouldn’t be thinking about. I’m thinking about our son who is drawing farther and farther away from us – and the Lord. I’m thinking about how sick I am of how so many people think God’s Word is no longer relevant. I’m tired of media bashing. And I’m certainly tired of reading of the British monarchy – who was going to wear what to the wedding, where the couple is now going to live, and how their children will relate to one another.
Until that day, remember that when we lean upon our Father, He’ll help us – He’ll give us peace when we need it. But our hope and eyes must stay fixed on Him – and not other stuff. Here’s how 
It turned out to be a short devotional from a sweet brother in Africa, and was based on 
And he has done well. I think he would fully agree that God has blessed him “with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” He’s doing what he’s called to do, trusting God with each open door that he steps through. My husband was very impacted by that man’s words that day.
So when the pastor started talking about this passage, my mind started intently focusing – was my Father God going to speak to me about Jeffrey’s healing in a new way that morning?
Another big thing was when Jeffrey had in his heart that he wanted to move and attend a college in another state. How was that supposed to work? There was not just the logistics that we had to think about, but since neither Gary nor I had ever attended a university we really had no idea about all the mounds of paperwork which had to be completed. And not only for college, but also for finding health care for our son and a place for him to live where they could take care of his needs daily. All we could do was pray and trust our Lord.
Unfortunately through the years the line between being a follower of Jesus vs. being a follower of the world has become very blurred. Some denominations now think it no problem to allow homosexuals or bisexuals to become pastors and ministers of their churches. They sugarcoat or change verses in the Bible that teach the way they live is wrong, saying those verses really don’t mean what they say.
Back when we lived in Oregon I worked at a company where the owner stated he loved God, but he lived by what the priests told him about his salvation, rather than studying the Scriptures himself to find out the truth. He was always so afraid of dying, stating often how he “hoped he was a good enough person” to make it to heaven. My coworker friend and I were often asked why we always seemed to have peace since he knew we were Christians. But when we would talk about Jesus and a personal relationship, he just didn’t understand – and didn’t want to. He’d been engrained in “religion” for such a long time.
Over the years this same verse has popped up in front of me many times since receiving that bookmark. But something happened one day, which as I look back now appears to have been the catalyst to really understanding this verse.
As I’ve studied just what this phrase means in this context, I realize I had been very misinformed over the years. This phrase doesn’t mean just trusting and loving God; instead it means to put Him first – to have Him be first place in your life. He is to be the #1 Most Important Person. My love for Him should supersede everything else.
