Why Are You Hurting Me, God?

Come on, admit it – you’ve said it, haven’t you?  I have unfortunately…

Why, God, why?  Why are you being so mean to me?  Haven’t I suffered enough already?

If not you, perhaps it’s one of your friends who is so upset with God that he/she has turned their back on Him, saying, “Why bother trying to do what the Bible says.  All God does is cause me more and more pain.  I’m sick of it.  Life was a lot better before I became a Christian.”

Have you, yourself, turned away from God because you’ve had to endure so much hurt?  Because you feel like He’s been cruelly picking on you?

Please hang on!  Because nothing you have gone through was without a reason.  God has a purpose and a plan even when you can’t see it; and He loves you more than you imagine even when you don’t feel it.


The past few months I’ve been doing an intense study on the book of Job.  I have to admit I never understood why God allowed Job – a man who He Himself describes as “the finest man in all the earth … blameless—a man of complete integrity” (Job 1:82:3) had to go through so much pain; pain beyond what most of us will ever have to suffer.  It just didn’t make sense.

1 Samuel 1But to be perfectly honest, a lot of people my husband and I know have wondered the same thing about us.  Why have we had to endure losing 2 children within a 5-month period, and then have our remaining son struggle as he does with quadriplegic cerebral palsy?  My sister years ago admitted to me that she confronted God with, “Why them, Lord, why always them?”

While I certainly don’t have all the answers to the “why” of circumstances that happen which appear to be out of our control, I do know one reason for me personally was that I was arrogant, headstrong, and thought I always knew best.  Plus – and perhaps even more importantly – I was pretending to be a Christian.  I was living a lie.

And do you know that God knows exactly what needs to be done to get our attention?  Quite honestly I don’t know if I would have ever surrendered to His saving grace if we hadn’t lost our 2 sons.

Now believe me, I certainly wasn’t like God-fearing Job.  Being a person of “integrity” was not me.  So it just never made any sense to me why God would allow Job to go through all he had to go through – things so much worse than what we had to suffer.

But through this Bible study the pieces suddenly started coming all together, for I learned that that Job was blinded with pridefulness…

That’s not saying that Job didn’t really love God.  He did!  Even after he’d lost all his children, his possessions, and was covered from head-to-toe with painful sores, he still did not say anything bad about Him.  He states in Job 1:21:  “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave.  The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away.  Praise the name of the LORD!”

And in Job 2:10:  “Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”

But just like the rest of us, the longer he had to suffer, the more his defenses broke down.  And when our defenses are shattered, we become more susceptible to saying and doing just what we should not be saying and doing.

That’s what happened to Job.  He started to unravel.

It began when his so-called friends came to visit, and instead of encouraging Job, started pounding at him about why they believed he was having to suffer.  Job begins to fray at the edges.

While you really need to read the whole book of Job to fully understand the specifics, let me just say that the more Job kept defending himself to his friends, the more he began to exalt himself, as well.  Yes he had been doing so many of the right things, but the more you read his words, the more you see he appeared to be basing his faith on God being pleased with the good works he had been performing – instead of grace.

So one of the reasons God allowed the intense pain and suffering in his life was to get Job to the point where he could actually hear His voice, and know intimately just who he said he believed in.  And, when you get to Job 38-41, you read how finally God Himself speaks to beloved Job, and points out just how ignorant he was of just Who He is.

But here’s what I love.  Because even though Job has gone through the worst of the worst, when he opens his ears to really hear the voice of God, he doesn’t argue, he repents (Job 42)!  He realizes his pridefulness, and comes before his Father asking for forgiveness.

And, of course, our loving God forgives him immediately, and blesses him with even more than he had in the beginning.

Heady stuff, isn’t it?


OK, I can imagine some of you tuning out by now.  “What does this have to do with me?  What am I supposed to be learning?  Are you saying that when bad things happen it is always because of sin?”

Mark 14_36NO!  Only God Himself knows all the reasons for what you’re having to go through.

For my husband and I, when we lost our children, I knew personally one of the reasons God allowed it was because of sin in my life; but that didn’t mean it was the whole reason.  And nothing hurt us more than having well-meaning people approach us with the “it must be because you have sin in your life” card.  When someone is hurting, you need to be encouraging them instead of bruising them even more.  We are not God, so sitting and speculating causes more harm than good.

Our Father has a mission for all of His children, and He uniquely places us just where we need to be.  He has us go through what we need to go through – in order to fulfill His purpose in this life on earth.

But going back to Job’s friends, they themselves also had lessons to learn; and they learned them through the sufferings of Job.  God rebukes them strongly in Job 42:7-9.  They were puffing themselves up with self-proclaimed knowledge about why Job had to suffer, when instead they should have been encouraging him, lifting him up in prayer.

People are always watching us as Christians, and the way we handle the pains and trials we go through can strengthen others in their walks with Jesus, and can even bring unbelievers close to the Father.  But we need to be doing our best to remain with eyes lifted in faith and trust through our difficulties, even when we don’t understand why the hurts are happening.

And when we finally come out on the other end of our trial?  Then we discover our faith and intimacy with our Father has grown even deeper than ever before, as God rejuvenates us here on this earth, and also when we enter eternity.  If we are serious about our relationship with God, and strive to understand His full council, He becomes our everything, such as the psalmist states in Psalm 119:105-112:

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.  I’ve promised it once, and I’ll promise it again:  I will obey your righteous regulations.  I have suffered much, O LORD; restore my life again as you promised.  LORD, accept my offering of praise, and teach me your regulations.  My life constantly hangs in the balance, but I will not stop obeying your instructions.  The wicked have set their traps for me, but I will not turn from your commandments.  Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart’s delight.  I am determined to keep your decrees to the very end.  

Stand firm my friends.  Lean on God the Father who is our shield and our strength.  Nothing – and no one – can take His place.  There’s a big difference as to whether you simply have religion, or if you have a relationship with Jesus.  I chose a personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Savior, and I pray you will too.



8 thoughts on “Why Are You Hurting Me, God?

  1. Its predictable, if understandable that you quote the book of Job. Its about all any Christian can do when confronted with theodicy. But I think at some point, you just have to walk away rather than drive yourself insane. I just realised that if there was a God up there, it didnt concern itself with any aspect of my life whatsoever. Certainly not in the manner of a ‘loving father’. In the past few years, my chronic pain and ill health have reached unprecedented levels: everything the doctors did was always met with further problems later on, and their attempts to stem the advance of osteoporosis only seemed to make it worse. I also lost a very good friend this year. A man who suffered terribly in his life. Pain, suffering and illness seemed to stalk him. He had a strong belief in God, but his death broke mine, and then coronavirus stamped all over the pieces. But this is NOT about my problems. I am about to be very blunt and I apologise. But if you must insist in believing in this f…..g God of yours then you have a LOT of explaining to do. Your God simply MUST shoulder some of the burden of bringing about a world of such misery, pain and suffering. (And then trying to resolve it TWICE!, with yet MORE pain and suffering). Adam and Eve cannot take all the blame, in the same way that Frankenstein’s Monster cannot take all the blame for what it did. And then, of course, you have the reality of the situation, which is that this world looks and behaves exactly in the way it would if it was part of a random universe.

    I used to believe in this God too. But now I realise I have to grow up, accept the world as it is, and leave this fiction behind.


  2. Oh Paul, my heart goes out to you in your chronic pain – I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, so I won’t even try. I am adding you to my prayer list, for I know only God my Father can truly heal your pain.

    We certainly don’t know why God allows people to suffer, and no, I’m definitely not blaming it on Adam and Eve. But this I do know: If your friend with COVID who died did indeed have a personal relationship with Jesus, he is rejoicing now as he’s in a place where he will never again experience pain, tears or sorrow (Rev. 21:4). And I know he would want you to join him there someday.

    But I also know that doesn’t help you in your hurt right now …

    Paul, please don’t turn from Jesus – instead call out to Him. Please read my post again and hear my personal heart. His love for you is higher than the heavens (Ps. 108:4). Having a belief in God is not enough; you must call on Jesus (Jn. 3:16).

    And let me end with a personal prayer for you right now: “Heavenly Father, You know Paul intimately and know exactly his thoughts, his hurts, his pain, and his anger. Oh Lord, I pray that through the mighty name of Jesus that You would reach out Your Shepherd’s crook and bring him into your fold. Hold Paul ever so close. Reach into his heart, Holy Spirit, and may he feel Your presence as never before. In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.”


  3. God uses pain He deliberately inflicts on us to His glory. How am not supposed to be afraid of Him? That is not love. If God wants my attention, why can’t He speak to me plainly? I wouldn’t make my child suffer when he can’t figure out what I want, I’d tell him plainly. There is so much contradiction in the bible, and though God knows this, he is silent. Love is beginning to sound like a punishment.


    1. Oh, Raquel – I’m so sorry for all the heartache and pain you’ve experienced. I can tell from your reply that you’ve been hurt, and I wish I could help you. I would love to hear your story. I’m going to email you and would love to get connected. The Bible is not full of contradictions; and our God is never silent. Please don’t be afraid of Him as His love for you is so full and complete. He designed you special in your mother’s womb (Ps. 139). Your every thought and intent of your heart is important to Him. Please look for an email coming from me in the next week or so.


  4. Hello thegodofallcomfort Your journal regarding God’s reason for human suffering in our lives is inspiring and encouraging. This is what I need for my new life after recovering from the humiliation from fake toxic friend and financial mismanagement one year ago, something that should not happen in my new independent life in Canada. However my flawed personality also played part for my suffering and failure. I am walking on the dessert, however this motivate me to research the truth which if God has a noble and more constructive reason behind his allowance of good people to fail and suffer. I believe that the way God hurt His beloved children, including you and me, is different than how other people hurt us. He hurt us in the way of surgery. Our enemies, humans and demons, are his best scalpels to shape our lives into its best. Scalpel will not show its love and respect to us and we will end up getting hurt if keeping them in our hands too long. Neither we expect them to show mercy to us or help constructing us. But God can use them as well as the consequence of our sin to show His love and the greater grace and prosperity He is about to revealing to us.
    I am sorry for the loss of two of your children and the pain to taking care of the remaining one. It is not easy to bear the burden of the life you are living. I would like to pray with you for our future God is promising for us. You now have my email address and I would love to have a prayer online friend in my tomorrow.


  5. I love God, but get very frustrated with Him. He seems to reward bad people and punish good people. I see amazing opportunities for Him to shine light on good and send warnings on evil, but He seems to do the opposite. I can’t remember what they call them, but I think they are called “dispensationalists” who feel that God has walked away from this world and I am starting to believe that. There is no explanation for rewarding evil and harming good people – as it does the OPPOSITE of what we are all trying to do – save our brothers and sisters. His inactions cause bad people to double down on unchecked evil and good people to lose faith. If one accepts his omnipotence, one must come to the conclusion that, since He cannot make mistakes, He must have walked away from us.


    1. Yes, this is exactly what all the enemy wants us to believe – that our God has walked away from us. And, yes, it’s certainly hard to see “seeming” rewards going to bad people. But please remember – this world is all there is for them! We have heaven waiting for us – a place where there will be no more pain, sorrow or tears (Rev. 21:4). Us human beings are the ones who have made this world such a mess because of sin, not God. We’ve chosen to turn away from Him, take Him out of our schools, and even a lot of our churches! Just like the Israelites of old, God loves us, and wants us to come to Him. Please don’t give up, my friend. Hang on and pray. Our Father will come alongside you and help you every step of the way. Keep focused on the future, not on the here and now. Blessings…


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