I Am Really A Mom – Weird!

I really could not believe that I was going to be a mom.  I mean I was “Ms. Independent” wasn’t I?  What had happened to my dreams of becoming a career woman?  This was so very interesting – and at the same time exciting and confusing!

Gary and I didn’t want to know the sex of the baby.  I’ve always loved surprises, and besides, I just knew in my heart that it was going to be a boy.  Why?  Well because that’s what I wanted, that’s why!

don't boastI had a wonderful OB/GYN that followed me throughout my pregnancy, and one of the things that he said to be aware of were Braxton-Hicks contractions.  He said a lot of times people think they’re the real thing, but if you wait a bit you will find that Braxton-Hicks will dissipate rather quickly.  Real contractions, however, will keep on coming and coming, getting worse by the minute.

I was definitely not privileged to experience those contractions on more than one occasion – they really were painful!  Yet I paid attention to the timing as the doctor had told me to, and they went away fairly quickly.

However this particular day they didn’t seem to be going away as fast as they should.  Was this perhaps the real thing?

Gary had just gotten home from work, and as we timed them together we realized we better get to the hospital FAST!  So we got in the car and Gary drove as quickly as he could to the hospital, which was about 1/2-hour away.

As he drove the contractions got worse and worse, and I started screaming at the top of my lungs in the car.  Poor Gary – I have no idea how he was able to pay attention to the road!

We finally pulled up to the hospital emergency room, and as I got out of the car my water broke all over the sidewalk.  Well that was awkward!  The hospital staff rushed me inside as fast as they could, and told me that it was a good thing we made it there when we did, because the baby was coming!

Fortunately they said there was still time for the pain drugs – PHEW!

All of a sudden the moment arrived, and the staff told me to push.  So push I did.  They then announced that we had delivered a healthy baby boy – yippee!  We named him Matthew.

IMG_0035However, as soon as Gary laid his eyes on baby Matthew, he left my side and took off to follow the staff around wherever they went, never taking his eyes off our baby.  I remember thinking – hello – wife over here!  Wife who just gave birth to your son!!!

Yet at the same time I cannot recall ever seeing such a huge smile on Gary’s face.  We were finally parents!

I learned all I could about nursing while I rested the next day in the hospital, and then it was time to take our son and go home.  It couldn’t be that big of a deal to take a baby home and take care if him there, right?


However after a brutal first three months learning how to take care of a colicky baby (as well as having very little sleep!), things started to settle down and we were both head-over-heels in love with our beautiful baby boy.  Why had we waited so long to have children?

Then one day the law firm where I had been freelancing called to see if I was ready to come back to work.  At first I thought – well, sure, why not?  Gary, however, was totally against it, remembering how his mother was always gone when he was a child and how lonely he had been at times.

However I can certainly be stubborn (thankfully even that’s nothing God isn’t able to handle), and I started whining and arguing with Gary.  Finally he gave in.

I found a good day care, and when the day came to drop Matthew off for my first day back at work I found that my heart was suddenly being shredded into little pieces.  I went to work that one day, and never went back.

My priorities had changed – I was a mom!



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