God – You’re Not Listening to Me!

When my husband and I finally made the decision to start a family we decided that we (or was it just me?) wanted just two kids.  Not three, just two.  We also agreed that we didn’t want them to be too far apart in age as my sister and I had been 4+ years apart, and even though we’re the best of friends now, when we were little we didn’t always get along too well.

Since I was so much older than my sister, mother often wanted her to tag along with me when I went somewhere (did she actually think I was responsible – uh, no, probably not).  Definitely put a cramp in my lifestyle!  I tried to hide a lot of things I was doing, but somehow she seemed to always find out.  And then what would happen?

I’m going to tell mom!

So I had to keep bribing her to keep her mouth shut – usually with a trip to the local 7-11 to buy her candy.

boastingIt seemed to me in my warped way of thinking that everyone who had siblings closer in age got along so much better.  Therefore it was very important to me that when we had our two kids, they needed to be 2 years apart – FINAL!

Oh by the way, did I mention that I had also decided they had to be boys?  Why?  Because that’s what I wanted of course!

It was such a blast watching Matthew and his cousin Erik play and grow up together (Becoming Totally Saturated With Love).  I just knew that a brother for Matthew would be just perfect!

So wouldn’t you know, right on cue about 18 months after Matthew was born, I became pregnant again – yay!

Gary and I were excited to go to the first checkup with my OB/GYN who decided to do an ultrasound that day.  As he moved the little sensor over my already swelling belly, all of a sudden he started to get very excited.

Look – you’re going to be having twins – and they look like they’re both boys!

He then proceeded to show us where each baby was located in my womb.

Gary and the doctor were both giddy with excitement.  Me?  I was stunned, shocked, and proceeded to start yelling at my doctor right there in his office.

What do you mean we’re going to have twins?  I don’t want twins!  How am I going to care for twins and still give Matthew the care he needs?

Matthew & Erik
Matthew (left) with his cousin Erik

I literally started screaming at the doctor who appeared quite dumbfounded, but then he and Gary proceeded to take my tantrum in stride and went back to staring at the ultrasound.

The doctor had given a picture of the 2 babies from the ultrasound to Gary, who just kept beaming ear-to-ear.  As soon as we got home he started calling everyone he could think of to give them the news.

I personally was totally and completely disgusted with God.  How dare He do this to me?  In my mind He had failed me – totally and completely.  I screamed at Him often:

How could you do this to me?  You knew I wanted just two babies!

More news came a couple months later when the doctor discovered that the twins were identical and in the same sac.  He was not overly concerned about this fact, but at the same time he noticed that the umbilical cord was wrapped around one of the baby’s necks so it was crucial that I not go physically into labor as the cord would tighten, causing damage to one or both of the babies.

Because of that, in the 7th month he wanted to start me on weekly non-stress tests to keep a close eye on the babies to make sure that they were progressing as they should.

My 7th month arrived, and I went to the hospital for my first test.  The nurse got me hooked up with the electrodes, and then all of a sudden things started to go haywire…


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