Getting ready to travel soon to visit our special needs son Jeffrey in Arizona. I’m really excited to see him – yet at the same time I can feel my heart often doing the flip-flop thing. Excitement, yet at the same time trepidation. Why? One reason is because I haven’t seen him since Christmas 2016. Not my choice, but his.
Our precious son who made such great strides in moving away from home to another state to attend college has fallen off the grid, but we’re not sure why because he won’t tell us. He ended up having to drop out of college after his junior year, and got kicked out of the great house he was staying at because of this unknown issue. He won’t talk to anyone about it (that we know of), but one thing we do know is that he’s fallen away from God and hasn’t been taking care of himself. He has cerebral palsy and needs consistent therapy, but we’ve been told he’s stopped all his therapies, and basically sits and does nothing but watch movies and be on the computer all day long.
Because of his weakened body he was not able to fly home to visit us this last Christmas – and as a matter of fact stated he didn’t want to see us anyway. My mommy-heart breaks, yet as I wrote about in my post What Am I Focusing On, I need to fix my eyes on all the great and wonderful things that God continues to do in my life each and every day (Philippians 4:8), and remember that He has His hands on our son, and that He loves him even more than we do.
As a matter of fact, when my husband and I decided to take our vacation in Arizona this year so we could see him, Jeffrey tried to dissuade us. But we had to do it – I had to see my boy to at least tell him how much I love him face-to-face. Even if he only wants to see us once.
Jeffrey had so much potential growing up. He was the first child with his type of disabilities to graduate from his high school with a regular diploma instead of a modified one. His teachers gathered around him and gave him so much support – knowing he was going to do great things with his life.
What happened? We don’t know.
Yet our great God knows – He knows exactly what happened.
In all the times that my husband and I pray for Jeffrey, we always feel the Lord reminding us: “Trust Me.” And so we must. Which is why I’ve entitled this post what I have, because Romans 8:28 tells us that “all” things work for the good of those that love Him. There are reasons beyond our comprehension why Jeffrey’s where he’s at right now, but somehow – in someway – God’s going to take care of it and work it out.
How about you? Do you have a wayward child or a loved one whose going through trials that you just don’t understand? Maybe you are yourself? Then be encouraged, because if you love Jesus, He says “Trust Me.”
Psalm 23 is a psalm I love dearly. Awhile back I wrote about that psalm in my journal: The Lord is my Shepherd. He leads me down the right path; He restores my soul. I shall not want! His comfort is always before me. Oh Lord, to remember that just as a good shepherd does let a stray sheep wander too far, so You’ll not let Jeffrey wander too far away.
And I know – because I have faith in my Jesus – that one of these days I’ll lift up my head and rejoice like King David did in Psalm 24:7-10. Nothing is too difficult for my Father. And even though His ways are different and often hidden from mine, I’m going to do my best to keep the Romans 8:28 mindset and remember that “all” things work for the good of those who love Him. And I love my God dearly.