God’s Will, Not Mine – Ouch, That’s Hard!

As I begin this post, I’m flashing back.  I’m flashing back to when our son Jeffrey was still in grade school – back when I still believed I knew more than anyone else about how he should be raised.

And yes, that included God…

I started thinking about this when I came across John 6:38, where Jesus tells His throng of followers that His purpose on earth was to do what His Father desired.

Jesus had many options on how to live each day while He was here on earth.  We have many options also.  But Jesus knew His purpose.  He knew what He was supposed to be doing.  Do we?

Back to my flash back time:  I was in a mentor group and learning a ton!  But I still struggled often with the need to have people believe that I knew what was best; and felt they should agree with me.

mom & J
Fun away from school

During that period, at Jeffrey’s school I had been arguing a lot with teachers and school staff about how Jeffrey needed this; and Jeffrey needed that.  I often disagreed with the things his physical, occupational and speech therapists said Jeffrey should be doing.  They were wrong, wrong, WRONG!!!

I was constantly stressed, and at times acted like the Wicked Witch of the West from the old movie “The Wizard of Oz.”  Ew, I was nasty…

In my mentor group us gals had the opportunity to meet one-on-one with the Women’s Ministry Director.  Here is when we would receive personal exhortation and wisdom on where she believed we were spiritually.  She was also present during all our monthly group meetings – so she knew our studies, as well as the battles and victories we’d been facing.

During one of those one-on-one meetings I was asked how things were going with Jeffrey. That particular day I was definitely on “whine-mode.”  I began by telling her all the things wrong at Jeffrey’s school, and how the therapists and teachers just couldn’t seem to get it all together.  I was worried about Jeffrey and what he was having to go through.

She was supposed to sympathize with me.

But she didn’t.

Instead she nailed me point-blank about how I really wasn’t trusting God at all with Jeffrey.  Instead I had put myself in the driver’s seat, believing whatever I said was the true and correct way of doing things.

“And,” she said, “if you don’t believe me, go home, get on your knees, and ask God if what I’ve just said is true or not.”

I did, and was crushed when confirmation came deep from within my soul…

So how does John 6:38 fit in, and why did that verse make me flash back?

walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been calledBecause back then I’d certainly not been doing the “will of the Father.”  I’d been doing my own will.  And in doing so, I’d alienated a lot of the staff – particularly one of the speech therapists.

Oh, and I was supposedly a Christian???

Friends, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.  God’s will for all of us is to trust Him.  To trust Him we need to stay close.  We need to put Him first in our lives.  We need to be listening, and living the way wants us to.  We need to be loving others as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31).

In closing, it was very hard for me back-off with the school staff – but I tried very hard to do so.  Unfortunately the relationship with the speech therapist never mended.  Yet I learned during that time that when I trust God, put Him first, and wait for Him to open certain doors, things usually turn out even better than I ever could’ve hoped or prayed for.

Father God is waiting to put things right for you too.  Trust Him!


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