Sometimes the days seem to go slowly by (like those days when its drizzly and gloomy outside), but then at other times the hours of each day seem to move so fast that you have a tough time keeping up!
Time for us was rushing by quickly as mother’s health started deteriorating rapidly (Feeling Sad For Mom). We got hospice going, and they administered drugs to help for her pain when she needed it.
However she still enjoyed sitting in her favorite chair whenever she could, and was sitting there one evening when I went over to visit. She was pretty coherent at times, but then all of a sudden because of the drugs she’d start to mumble about something which I just couldn’t understand. During those times I did the best I could to pretend that I knew what she was talking about because I didn’t want to upset her.
Suddenly she began to talk about an event years ago when she was admitted to the hospital ER because of a severe allergic reaction to codeine. Evidently she actually had “died,” but they were able to resuscitate her quickly.
She started reliving that particular event, and told me during her “death experience” she’d received a glimpse of heaven – it was so beautiful and peaceful. And because of that glimpse, it was forever ingrained in her mind that she was going to heaven when she died.
Now mother had brought up this incident off and on during the years, and during those times my sister and I had always tried to explain to her that just because she believed she saw a glimpse of heaven, that didn’t necessarily mean that it was heaven. One time I even quoted 2 Corinthians 11:14 which talks of how Satan himself can masquerade as an angel of light to lead us astray. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well…
However this particular evening when she brought it up again my heart just started splitting in two and all I could do was try and comfort her.
Then she stopped and started telling me that she’d thought that the previous night was going to be her last night alive, and was wondering whether this time when she died if it would be the same as when she had died after being administered codeine.
What are you talking about mom?
She told me that she’d had a dream and it was terrifying. She was in a place that was full of fire, and she was scared. She told me she even saw little Jeffrey’s face, but it was like it was burned. She just had no idea what it all meant.
Mother then started drifting off again, but I found myself sitting straight up in my chair. I totally believed with all my heart that during that dream God was trying to get her attention – that she needed to relinquish herself to Jesus’ saving grace and get right with Him.
As mother dozed for a few minutes, I sat there praying and stressing about what I should do once she became more coherent.
When she awoke, I went over to her and said, Mom, when you had that dream about the fire, what do you think it meant? Do you really have peace in your heart that when you die you will be going to heaven?
She paused and then said she felt she had peace, but she was still kind of scared.
But have you really asked Jesus to come into your life and take away your sins?
A longer pause, but then she replied, “Yes.”
She was exhausted by then, so I helped her into bed, and asked if she wanted me to read to her anything from the Bible. She said she was afraid she’d cry, so not to do it.
I left not too long after, and got home in time to pray with little Jeffrey and kiss him before he went to bed. I told him I’d been to see grandma.
Jeffrey knew that we had all been struggling with grandma not knowing Jesus, and he had been praying for her too. He then looked at me and said sweetly, I’ll never give up hope for grandma…
So why didn’t I tell him that grandma had just made a profession of faith to me while I was with her? Probably because I still wasn’t totally convinced…