I still remember the day 20+ years ago when a good friend of mine came over to me in the parking lot of the church we attended, and said,
“Linda, I have to confess something to you.”
I could tell something was really bothering her, so we went to a safe side of the parking lot to chat for a few minutes.
She then broke down, and told me for years she was terrified to have kids, because she was so afraid that something would happen to them. She was afraid they would be born with some sort of disability, or that they would die prematurely. And now here she was with healthy boys, but all her worst fears had come true for Gary and I. She felt really bad.
I wasn’t quite sure what to say. This was months after we had lost two of our precious boys (Peacefully Passing Into God’s Arms, The Day When Jesus Became Real); and had then found out that Jeffrey, our remaining son, had cerebral palsy (Continuing Forward).
So we just hugged one another in the parking lot that day, crying together.
Quite frankly we really don’t know why sometimes children are born with disabilities to healthy parents; and then healthy children are sometimes born to parents who are alcoholics or addicted to drugs.
Life is just one of the many mysteries of God.
But – and I know I speak for many other parents who have gone through similar circumstances – sometimes you do find yourself questioning why certain things have happened to you, and not to someone else.
I’ve questioned it, no doubt. Was it because of all the bad choices I made while I was young (Enough Of This Whole School Thing)? Was it because I cursed God when I found out I was pregnant with twins (God – You’re Not Listening)?
But one day years ago I was reading the Bible and I came to John 9, which talks about how Jesus and His disciples came to a man who had been born blind. His disciples ask Jesus (John 9:2-3 AMP):
Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind?
Jesus answered, It was not that this man or his parents sinned, but he was born blind in order that the workings of God should be manifested (displayed and illustrated) in him.
This passage has given me so much peace over the years.
As meager human beings it’s so easy to let our minds run rampant trying to figure out “why” God has allowed certain things to happen. But we’re not God, are we?
Yes, it certainly is possible that some of the things that happened in my life with regards to our children are because of mistakes I’ve made. God is my Father, and as a good Father He disciplines His children (Proverbs 3:11-12).
But quite frankly I will not know the truth of the matter until I’m reunited with my boys in heaven. And will it really matter then? I think not.
There’s so much going on in the upper realms that we have no clue about. We don’t know what battles are being fought on our behalf between good and evil, and I need to just keep trusting my Father that whatever has happened – or will happen in the future – is just as He has outlined for my life.
My husband’s life passage is Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP:
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
How’s your “Trust-Meter” holding up?